Surreal. Strange. Wonderous. Unsettling. Joyous.
The Order of the Pelican in my home Kingdom of Meridies decided this year that they have had enough of my working behind the scenes and getting away with it. So offended they were by my free-range service to this hobby, they demanded something be done. So, they swooped in and slapped a medallion and Cap of Maintenance on me. Performing the official ‘I got dibs’ that peerage orders of the SCA are known for doing from time to time. The date was November 9th, A.S. LIX being 2024 Gregorian. My last day as a freelance helper and service opportunist.
Realization is slowly creeping in on my understanding of my place in the known world. I ‘yam what I yam’. But, I am also not. I feel a subtle resistance to the changes in my perception. I feel as I was before. But, my world is imposing new parameters. Something to come to terms with. Many advised me in my vigil that changes would occur while also telling me to not change who I am. A new balance will be established. This I think I know already.
My path is that of a squire and still is. This Pelican recognition was not expected or planned for. I fight and I serve from the perspective of what I have been taught as a squire. My school of squirely study was one of fighting being the first task, but everything else in this hobby also warrants attention. It’s not enough to just fight. To be a knight, more is expected. That is the foundation laid before me all those years ago as I was first taken as a squire. Most of us old squires live in this ideal.
To those new and old squires out there, getting a recognition outside of your chosen path is a frightful thing for some you. You should not be scared of recognitions that are not fighting related. Some of you might think that receiving a peerage other than the white belt as a squire is a death knell to the path you are on. I certainly hope not. Many Knights are part if more than in order in the SCA these days. In the earlier history of the Society, being part of an order not related to fighting may have been a thing to be shunned for. A product of a siloing effect that occurred when the orders were more competitive in nature. But in this current Society, an accolade is just more proof of the quality of who you are in the game. Just accept what is given and embrace it. It just makes your resume better when you are weighted and measured by the circle. My two pence.
I have been asked and I reiterate it again here, I am content with whatever the people in the big chairs deem to hand out. That’s their right and not something I control or have much say in. That may be simplistic. It probably is. But, this recognition is no exception to the rule. If fact, Ill lean into it a bit. I am even more content with this because it wasn’t just them doing the giving. There was a whole fleet of Pelicans that advised the folks in the big chairs. So, it was a bunch of folks that put this accolade on me. That reality slams humility down on me like a micro-burst thunderstorm cell.
The leadup to the vigil was a time full of questions. Some anxiety. A lot of accepted wonder. People doing things for me I can do for myself (and usually do). But, just sitting on my hands and letting stuff happen. It’s wasn’t always easy. The vigil came into being. I was part of it but also not at the same time. It was akin to a small event within the event. Many voices came to see me in my blind. A played my role as best as I could in my amateur understanding of how it works. I recall advice of many common themes. There were some claustrophobic feelings on my part. Not my cup of tea to be honest. But, I enjoyed it even if it did feel a little awkward to me.
Court was a blur. Luckily there is video. It was fun and a shock. I felt in a daze though the ceremony. Trying to make eye contact with the speakers and truly listen to what was said. My feet hurt in the kneeling. Don’t squirm. Be in the moment. Warm, dumbfounded, childlike happiness is the lasting impression I have in my mind. Folks asked if I could recite the Fealty Oath, I probably could but not then. Took prompts but I knew the words once I was reminded having uttered them so many times over the years. People making a declaration of my worth before the thrones. Eyes. Wide. Open. That humility hammer came down on me again.
Now that it is done, I go to look for the normality that was before all the feathers. I don’t feel different. But… I removed myself from the Meridian Associates Facebook group today. That felt bittersweet for some reason. Events are coming up where I will attempt to just be me again and do my thing. Remains to be seen if I am me or if this is some sort of sequel of me. No cravings for fish at least.
Looking forward to seeing if ‘Making a man a Pelican, makes him a better fighter’. Is that a thing? We’ll see.
Curious to see if there are any new ‘demands’ on my time with this new hat. So far, no one has asked me for anything I wasn’t already doing. Probably going to be a bit before that shakes out.
I’m a peer and a squire now. A peer by popular demand. A squire by choice. My circumstance is unusual, but I am probably not the only one in the SCA who has ever experienced it. I doubt there are a lot of us going about it the way I have.
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| Artwork courtesy of Brett Tadlock SCA Ronan of Axebridge |
The Pelican mantle says a couple of things about me I would hope. The first is that the service part of my game is on point. The second is that it is evident that I have a good grasp of my PLQs. Just need to not screw up in either of those two points. Just because you got the cookie doesn’t mean you can stop being what got you the cookie.
My hobby has been good to me. It’s a place of friendship and escape from the mundane. The SCA gives me my ‘And now for something completely different…’ fix and I love it for that reason. I am so glad it found me and that I have been able to help it continue to be.
Now, back to work…
